On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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