You made me cry and you don't even care
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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