My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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