Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
