i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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