Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
