I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We are two peas in an std pod
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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