I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
