Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
