M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
