Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
