If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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