**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
