I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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