and you said cock pushups were impossible
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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