ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
