Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
