i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
