Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
