OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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