Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
