You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
