just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
