i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
