): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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