??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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