I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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