Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
