Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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