Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
