RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
