I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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