So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
