I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize