My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
