I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
