So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
