help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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