at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
