Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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