Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
