yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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