i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You need Xanax blowdarts
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
