So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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