If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
