I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
