Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
