last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
