I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
