i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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