Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
