i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize