Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
