Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
