I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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