North Korea, Best Korea!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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