Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
