booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
