wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
