before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
