Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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