you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize