I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
