I want to stick my p in your. b.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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