did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
