He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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