Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize