Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
