Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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