i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
