you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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