ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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